


rooted trials

by prettyshiroic (dinosuns)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Belonging, BoM - Freeform, Early season 3, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Identity, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Leadership, Loss, Mission Fic, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, i tag that because the beginning of S3 especially, keith is working through not just the loss of shiro and the mantle of leadership but his heritage, keith on a BOM mission, kolivan has a mufasa moment good., kolivan supports keith, part galra stuff, season 3 keith, the conversation i yearned for them to have in S3, well you will probably notice a deviation from my usual keith style it is a bit more abrupt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 20:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosuns/pseuds/prettyshiroic
Summary: “I’m Galra.” Keith’s head lifted a fraction. A challenge.“Part Galra,” Aredis corrected.-When the castle malfunctions, the solution is deep in Galra-occupied territory. Keith joins the blades on this supply mission, and soon discovers that - amongst his own personal struggles - the trials of Marmora will not be the only challenge he has to overcome.





	rooted trials

**Author's Note:**

> this was my piece for the Galra Keith Zine - which is shipping now! 
> 
> I haven't explored early-S3 Keith that much, and this was a great chance to do that. I just want to re-iterate in light of Season 4 that if this was happening in that period, Kolivan would absolutely never have brought up the sacrifice in this conversation, and he may even refrain from mentioning the second nature of the trials. There's nuance to his words, but Keith doesn't completely realise this. The meaning Kolivan intends is not "we should sacrifice ourselves" but rather "we should accept that unfortunately sacrifices sometimes happen" whilst maintaining caution and not diving into situations of high-risk. How that translates to Keith is not objective!! 
> 
> Also, as I mentioned in the tags - this 'Keith' is a very specific breed, we're looking around 3x01- early 3x03 kind of time frame. It's not a period of Keith's canon time I have done in any of my other stories thus far! It's actually interesting to look back at this with Season 4 in mind and consider how Keith has developed and been explored through canon since. Early season 3 Keith is honestly super exciting to think about mostly because of the way he presents himself based on what he's dealing with. The way things are amplified and distorted in such a way certain common patterns are broken. He's really dealing with so much in this time, he's very weathered. There's a lot of raw ferocity in his speech and whilst Keith is usually very direct it's amplified to a greater extent where it can be extremely sharp and veer towards cutting due to the bruising of his own soul during this time. 
> 
> Anyway, excuse the rambling. i just needed to get that down bc i felt it was important to point out with more canon at our disposal now - I hope you enjoy!

“Aw man, Keith gets to have all the cool things...”

Keith wasn’t eavesdropping.

But Lance’s words, followed by a groan caught his attention as he drew closer. It wasn’t anything new, overhearing his name somewhere. Back at the garrison, he’d caught pieces of conversations about him before from other students. People whispered all kinds of things in his presence, seldom caring if he heard or if he didn’t. Had he not steered his sharp focus towards the simulator and making it as a fighter class pilot, he might’ve wondered what they said when they _weren’t_ in his presence.

Passing through hallways, assumptions were scattered around him. But it wasn’t _just_ hallways. It was eyes that looked. They looked and scrutinised - only they never _saw._ People that spoke. They indulged all kinds of ridiculous hearsay and assumptions but they never _listened._

The only place they never quite touched was a small shack in the centre of a desert - the heart of a lonely storm.

“Seriously! Guys, you know I’m right!”

Ah. Lance wasn’t alone, then. Keith lingered outside the doorway, a brewing curiosity fought its way to the forefront of his mind.

“How many swords does one guy need?”

Keith knew his teammate well enough at this point to understand it was mostly in jest. But that didn’t stop the tension thrumming in his veins. Because there could only be _one_ thing he was referring to.

Why Lance felt _compelled_ to bring this up now, Keith honestly didn’t know. The bayard - Shiro’s bayard - in his hands felt heavy, _unnatural._ A reminder of all that was lost. He’d wielded it several times in battle, become accustomed to it. But it wasn’t quite like the red bayard. His bayard. _You mean you’ve got your bayard!_

Part of Keith was inclined to just storm in there and offer it up to Lance -insist he just took it instead. _He didn’t want this not like this._

“Oh, oh don’t forget about _Galra Keith!”_ Hunk added.

“That too.” Keith could practically _hear_ Lance throw his hands up, almost defeatedly. “ _And_ he’s in the blade of Marmora with his cool secret knife! Now he _also_ gets the black lion and its bayard.”  

Right. Okay. That was _it._ Keith marched inside. The whole team were there, Kolivan and the blades included. Great. He’d certainly made an entrance if their expressions were anything to go by. Fist clenched, he turned to Lance. Fury simmered beneath his skin, threatening to burst. _None_ of those things Keith had taken by choice or because he wanted to. Yet Lance was acting like he’d _deliberately_ done these things to personally offend him. Even if it had been a joke, at this point Keith couldn’t ignore the implications.

Maybe they _weren’t_ over the ‘rivalry’.

“What’s the big idea?” he spat, eyes narrowed and black bayard clasped tightly in his hands. “Look. I didn’t _ask_ for the black lion to pick me and I also didn’t _choose_ to be Galra! Being-”

Before Keith could finish those words, somebody else stepped forwards. One of the blades standing behind Kolivan worked their way to the centre of the room. Their mask lifted, revealing an expression more furious than Keith’s own.

“- _He’s no Galra. And he’s definitely no blade._ ”

Stunned into silence by the interruption, Keith glanced over to the Galra. He was lean and agile in build, face sharp and cheekbones prominent. He lacked any markings on his skin, darker fur framing his face and ears.

The entire team looked upon the situation, uncertain and unsure how to proceed. None of the other blades had ever interacted with the team before besides what was necessary. _This didn’t feel necessary._

“Aredis,” Kolivan warned.

“So he has a ceremonial blade. That means _nothing!”_ Aredis continued, voice thick with venom that had every intention to hurt and sting. “He hasn’t even completed the full trial.”

Mention of the trial had Keith breaking his silence. This guy didn’t know a _thing_ about what he’d been through, what he’d given and _gave up_ to keep Shiro and the universe safe. And the fact Shiro was out there somewhere in the universe, scattered amongst stars in a place Keith couldn’t hope to reach only made the intensity grow. It was one thing to undermine something Keith had committed himself to. But it was _another_ to undermine the lengths he would go for Shiro. And Voltron.

“I took the trial. I awakened the blade.” Pause. Fingers twitched at his belt as he recited Kolivan’s words. “Only those with Galra blood can do that.”

Aredis scoffed.

“Awakening the blade is only the first part of the trial. It doesn’t make you _one of us._ ”

Narrowing his eyes, Keith stepped forwards.

“It's not like I asked to be Galra! Why don't you just lay off I- I don’t have to prove _anything_ to you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. How Galra are you anyway?”

Keith didn't know. He averted his gaze, and that was a mistake - an _opening._

“I’m not sure.”

“Exactly - you’re not even _really_ Galra! You’re just a-”

“Watch your tone,” Allura said sharply, to everyone’s surprise. It was clear she wasn’t prepared to let Aredis finish those words. A quick glance around to his teammates confirmed they weren’t pleased with the situation.

Whilst Hunk looked uneasy, Lance was clenching a fist and Pidge was openly _scowling._ It was only a matter of time until _someone_ that wasn’t Keith blew their fuse. He just hadn’t considered it would be _Allura._ Yet even in this moment, she seemed composed and diplomatic. Her words rang out across the room, commanding everyone’s attention.

“May I remind you that you are talking to a paladin of Voltron, and pilot of the black lion.”

Seemingly unfazed by the knowledge, Aredis was undeterred. His focus flicked back over to Keith, _piercing._

“So what? None of that counts when _Thace_ -”

Mention of Thace had Keith’s eyes widening.

“Thace is gone.” Kolivan’s words brought everything to an abrupt standstill.

Stepping back, Aredis lowered his head passively.

“You know I speak the truth, Kolivan. _He is not one of us,_ ” he murmured, voice hushed. The potency was intended only for Keith; Keith fought against it, jaw clenched. 

“It is true that awakening the blade is little more than testament to your lineage,” Kolivan began. Hands reaching for his knife, Keith gripped it tightly. He was barely certain of his place on the _team_ right now, he didn’t need this too. More questions, more displacement. “But that is irrelevant. Keith has already passed the second trial.”

Eyes snapping back up to Kolivan, Keith gaped. A second trial. Behind Kolivan, Aredis kept quiet.

“What does that mean?” Keith probed urgently.

“Knowledge or death. Strength through sacrifice,” Kolivan explained, as if that _explained_ everything. “There was no time to dwell upon it. However, when you willingly went onboard Zarkon’s ship you demonstrated that you were prepared to set aside yourself for the greater good. It was the strength of your will that shone through your actions. And that was not without accepting sacrifice comes from not only ourselves.”

 _Oh._ Realisation hit. Kolivan was talking about Thace.

“Thace didn’t have to _die_ !” Aredis snapped bitterly. “You could’ve saved him and you didn’t. Instead you chose to save yourself.” Turning to Kolivan, he bared his fangs. “ _How_ is that strength through sacrifice?!”

“Quit talking like you know everything. You weren’t - you weren’t _there!_ ” Keith's voice cracked as he yelled, betraying him more and more by the second. Rationalising Thace’s death was _not_ something Keith wanted to do. And he _wouldn’t._ But he also understood the sacrifice that had been made. He honoured Thace. He hadn’t _wanted_ to leave Thace there. This accusation wasn’t something Keith could set aside.

“I was not,” Aredis admitted, and it felt too easy for these words to be sincere or yielding. “Maybe if I was there we would be in a different situation. _Thace_ would still be here!”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Keith cried back, hands thrown out imploringly.

“A blade would take responsibility. An honourable _Galra_ would too!” Aredis was relentless, striding forwards swiftly. Blade drawn. It gave Keith little choice. Reaching for his knife, he braced himself for the attack.

But it didn’t come. Because suddenly, tremors rocked through the entire ship. The jagged motions knocked Keith backwards. The others clung to their seats, barely securing themselves.

“Allura!” he called, latching onto the nearby seat for support. The ship continued to shake violently. “ _What’s happening?_ ”

“I don’t know, something’s wrong with the castle!” she responded, a fretful edge to her voice.

The tremors stopped. But a deep groan from inside the castle walls indicated that it wasn’t over. This may well just be the start.

“It’s the Fectide oil,” Coran scrambled over to the control panel, pulling up a screen which showed one of the castle rooms. It was billowing with smoke, clearly overheated and in bad shape. “Without it, we won’t be able to stabilise some of our key systems.”

“What’s Fectide oil?” Pidge asked, both curious and concerned.

“Fectide is extracted from a specific root on planet Quivarth. It’s rare, but the Galra used to harvest it.” Coran explained. “Just a small concentration can last decaphebes.”

“Wait, _the Galra?”_ Lance sat up, eyes wide.

“Yes. When we were at peace, we would trade our resources with each other,” Allura began, eyes cast away.

“Over ten thousand years have passed since your castle was built,” Kolivan said. “Fectide is no longer a key resource used by the Galra.”

_Great._

“And let me guess,” Keith folded his arms, sounding like the last thing he wanted to do was entertain this situation. “This stuff isn’t easy to get hold of and now it got fried, we don’t have any.”

“I can cloak the ship for a few vargas but Quivarth is two wormhole jumps away,” Pidge was pretty much confirming everything Keith suspected.

“Can we make it?” he asked.

Allura and Coran exchanged apprehensive glances. That was a no.

“You do not need to make the jump,” Kolivan said. “There is a reserve in this quadrant that specialises in preserving galactic botanics. It grows this root.”

“Then let’s go,” Allura replied fiercely, ready to take action.

“No, it is a Galra settlement. You would not be welcomed there. The reserve has lingered on the edge of the Empire’s radar for some time. Whilst commanders are sent to inspect it from time to time, there is no station there. Your arrival would bring about discord, and put the Galra who live there at risk of full occupation.”

“ _Then let’s go_ ,” Keith repeated. “Sooner we get it, sooner we move.”

Aredis laughed bitterly, then. Keith didn’t like how it sliced right through him.

“What makes you think _you_ are suited for this mission?”

“I’m Galra.” Keith’s head lifted a fraction. A challenge.

“ _Part_ Galra,” Aredis corrected.

Challenge evidently accepted.

“Enough.” Kolivan turned to Keith then. “If you are to join us, then we must make haste.”

Nodding, Keith cast a glance to the team. His eyes landed on Pidge, raising an eyebrow.

“How long we got?”

“Four vargas at a push.” She tapped the screen in front of her, frowning. “Maybe three. I can definitely stretch the cloaking device to three vargas.”

Three hours. That wasn’t much time at all.

“We’ll be back before then,” Keith declared, walking towards the door.

Aredis shoved past him, already making his way to the pod Kolivan was leading them to. Well. This sure was going to be an interesting trip.

♘

The Galra settlement, Braegdomar, was situated on a small planet. Much smaller than earth. But even as they approached, the lush vegetation and variations in species could be seen. The entire surface was green, flourishing with life and nature. For such a small settlement, it was an impressive sight. Keith watched in awe as Aredis steered their pod closer to the planet. A flock of birds with two sets of wings and long streamline tails came into focus. Heading straight for them. Leaning forwards, Keith’s fingers itched. They were moving fast, but the birds were too.

“Watch out!”

“You’re the _last person_ I’m listening to. I don’t need you telling me what to do,” Aredis grumbled in response, a bite to his tone that had never left.

In one smooth motion, the Galra steered them effortlessly away from the flock. It was well executed. Part of Keith wanted to tell Aredis as much, the other part didn’t see the point. Getting on with the mission and focusing on that alone was all that mattered. As they grew closer to the landing strip, Kolivan relayed the details of the mission. It was simple enough. Request permission to extract the Fectide oil from the reserve, collect two vials, and return back to the castleship.

It was a bumpy, awkward landing. Keith pursed his lips and swallowed down the complaint, focusing on the instructions. Then Kolivan said something that threw him off guard.

“Keith, under no circumstances are you to take off your mask.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he meant by that. _Part Galra._ Nodding weakly, Keith clenched a fist. Unease was swirling uncomfortably in his stomach, barely suppressed. Through the reflection in the glass, he caught Aredis’ eyes. The Galra held it for a second, before pulling up his own mask. It was more than just the cold shoulder: blatant apathy.

It hurt. Keith really didn’t want it to hurt. But it did. Being rejected by every other human being bar Shiro - and in some respects the team - was hard enough.

The three of them stepped out the pod, Kolivan meeting the Galra on the ground who were waiting expectantly. Aredis remained close to Kolivan’s side. And Keith, unsure where to place himself, lingered a fraction behind.

The Galra here seemed to be relatively hairless. Their ears were more pronounced and sat further up on their head, curved like caracals. Unlike the Galra of the empire, their clothes were far less military. It was a surprising and unexpected sight. Pale red robes draped from their shoulders, fastened by what looked like vines fashioned into a belt.

One stepped forwards, tall yet muscular. A series of intricate green markings snaked around the curves of their face. Their skin was a murky purple, tinged with a slight emerald shimmer.

“Kolivan,” the Galra at the front bowed their head. “I presume you are here on business.”

“That is correct Roghak, we are in need of some supplies.”

Nodding, Roghak processed the information.

“The next inspection is not for another quintent. Though you are welcome to stay, I suggest you do not dwell too long...”

From the looks of things, they didn’t seem all too bothered by the request, which was a good thing. Getting the oil wouldn’t be too difficult. In fact, their attention was more drawn towards Keith.

Gesturing to him, Roghak frowned. The rest of the Galra followed suit. Keith averted his gaze to the ground. Confidence dwindled. He found himself feeling remarkably out of place. Small. Unimportant. Unwanted. _Rejected._ They couldn’t see his face due to the mask, but he could _feel_ their prying eyes on him. _Part Galra._ Part Galra.

“Are times so desperate that you call upon kits to join your forces?”

Keith didn’t need that one explained to him. Compared to the Galra, he was a smaller in build. It wasn’t surprising that he looked like a _child_ in the suit standing beside Kolivan and Aredis. Humiliation sharply rose up inside, tinging his cheeks with heat _._ A sound remarkably close to a stifled snort came from Aredis. But it was promptly cut off as Kolivan replied.

“He is here for educational purposes. Is that a problem?”

 _Educational purposes._ Great. So not even Kolivan was going to take him seriously on this mission and introduce him for what he was, _a member of their organisation._ Instead he was likened to some kid on a school trip. The words sat badly with Keith. It took a lot of restraint to hold his tongue. Aredis was definitely gloating now. _What makes you think_ **_you_ ** _deserve to be on this mission._ Part Galra. But also part human. Barely straddling existence, fitting nowhere.

“So long as he remains supervised, then there will be no issue.”

The rest of the conversation was lost to Keith, who could only stew in the furnaces of his own fury. Fire rose up and up in his veins, threatening to take hold and set ablaze everything in his path. Being treated like some kid wasn’t something he was happy to entertain. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He was a paladin. Not to mention a blade.

This was _insulting._ It wasn’t right.

“We will see you off in one varga, that ought to be enough time for you to collect what you need.” Roghak’s voice drew Keith’s focus back in. That and the fact that Aredis suddenly burst into motion. Undoubtedly to get the oil.

Something close to a bitter need to _win_ a competition that didn’t even exist took over Keith. Now he could kind of empathise with Lance and his inherent desire to one-up Keith. _Kind of._ Only this wasn’t rivalry, this was wanting to prove Aredis wrong and prove _himself._ Keith strode forwards after the other determinedly as Roghak and the local Galra dispersed.

“Let him go,” Kolivan commanded, bringing Keith to a standstill.

His voice betrayed nothing, mask hiding his face. Although, it would probably be difficult to deduce what he was feeling even _without_ the mask. Kolivan certainly knew how to school his emotions. Far better than Keith. Funny. He’d started to think his explosive outbursts and intense emotions were a Galra thing. Maybe it wasn’t.

Watching Aredis storm off, Keith frowned. The mission was _supposed_ to be a joint one. A team effort. It didn’t make sense for one person to do all the work.

Turning to Kolivan, Keith chewed his lip. This was getting ridiculous, as was the tightness squeezing the air from his lungs.

“Follow me.”

Keith hardly had a moment to process those words yet alone _respond._ Because moments later, Kolivan had made his way down a pathway ahead. Darting after him, Keith kept a brisk pace by his side. An archway formed by the branches of ancient trees hung above them as they walked.   

“Where exactly are we going?” Keith asked irritably after minutes of what felt like mindless wandering in stifled silence. The frustration bubbling beneath the surface finally erupted. “If you expect me to follow you like some kind of _kid_ that needs watching then you can forget it. _I’m out of here._ ”

A low unfamiliar noise emanated from Kolivan. Seconds passed, and Keith realised belatedly that he was _chuckling._ Honestly, Keith had no idea what to do with that information. It was hardly expected. The sound would’ve been soothing if Keith wasn’t so far gone, purring etched into the corners.

“Translating your human age to a Galra lifespan, you certainly are no older than a kit. You have much to learn.”

Scowling, Keith came to a halt. He wasn’t here to be lectured.

“In the absence of your leader, your Voltron will turn to you for guidance. That is what Shiro’s wishes were, was it not?”

Shiro. He was out there somewhere. _Had to be._ Search after search had brought about nothing. But that didn’t mean he should _stop searching._ Once the castle was up and running again, the first thing Keith would be doing is conducting another thorough search.

Replacing Shiro was absolutely not an option, _unthinkable._ Gritting his teeth, Keith kicked the leaves beneath his feet agitatedly. Gravity must’ve been heavier here or something, because they hardly moved.

“He’s out there.” Keith’s words left no room for disagreement.

“That may well be true,” Kolivan conceded, bowing his head. Whether out of respect for Shiro, or something else, Keith wasn’t sure. “But he has yet to return.”

“I searched _everywhere_. I - I’m _trying_ ,” Keith hissed. It wasn’t enough _how could it be enough._ Shame was thick and heavy, smothering him, like the gravity of this world.

He’d failed.

He was still failing. But he was _trying_ and it wasn’t enough. Oh no _._ He could feel it rising inside. Something overwhelming pressed into his eyes and made them water, offsetting his composure.

Good thing he had the mask.

“Perhaps you ought to search within yourself.” Kolivan steered them down a brighter path, with vibrant flowers and wild striking birds that would have caught Keith’s eye in any other circumstance. He liked birds. He didn’t like this, though.

“Kolivan. It - it’s not a good idea. Me being leader. I - it can’t work…“ _I’m not like you Shiro._ But that wasn’t even the whole problem. It wasn’t just about who Keith was. Voicing this aloud was unsettling. Yet something about the setting made it easier. Maybe it was because Kolivan always seemed so neutral. Or maybe it was just that Keith had reached the peak of his tolerance.

Mask lifting, Keith exposed his face to Kolivan. It was not out of defiance.

“Mostly because of what I am.”

Averting his gaze, Keith bit down his lip hard. He needed that pressure. He needed something, _anything,_ to stop the anguish taking full form and shackling him to inescapable despair.

People looked at him different; Galra looked at him different too. The only thing he had in common with humans and Galra was being out of place. Alien and misunderstood.

“I’m barely human.” Clearing his throat, Keith tried to dislodge the uncomfortable lump wedged there. “And I’m not even _Galra_. Not really.”

Only part. Aredis had made that clear enough in his words.

He hadn’t realised he’d come to a stop in the midst of his speech, until Kolivan’s shadow danced over his blurry vision.

“Do not let the words of others taint your judgement of yourself,” Kolivan began, nudging Keith forwards gently with a hand. Keith sniffled, god he hated it. Even worse, Kolivan’s mask had lifted. Now he really couldn’t afford to look over. It was too humiliating.

“Aredis speaks from a place of resentment, because much like yourself he has lost someone close to him.”

 _Thace_. It made sense now, the personal grudge Aredis seemed to hold against Keith. The way he’d taken issue with _everything_ Keith did, the scathing remarks and cold disinterest.

“That’s no excuse. Everybody in the universe has lost something. It’s not a free pass for being a jerk,” Keith retorted, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of the Marmora suit. The last thing he wanted was someone - _Aredis -_ catching him at the mercy of his turbulent emotions.

“So you’re saying one’s emotions should not cloud one’s judgement. Not just of judging others, but of oneself and one’s behaviour.”

Glancing over to Kolivan in surprise, because if Keith was right that definitely sounded like mild teasing, Keith pouted. _Great._ His own words were being thrown back at him.

Maybe he was being hard on himself. _But maybe he wasn’t._ Sighing, Keith rubbed his forehead. It didn’t ease up the pressure, but he could pretend.

“Guess I am.”

Kolivan hummed thoughtfully. Keith could’ve sworn there was some trace of a smile on his lips, but maybe he was imagining it. The gravity was heavier here - it could be doing all sorts of things to his senses.

“Your heart is loyal to a cause, and your mind is open and fair in assessments,” Kolivan’s voice sobered the scene once more. Eyebrows furrowing, Keith listened quietly. “You show great passion for what you think is right, and you are not afraid to take the course of action you see best suited. Your devotion to your team and bravery in the face of death is unbreakable. All this is not only the makings of a Galra we as blades aspire to become, but the makings of a remarkable-”

“-It's okay,” Keith hissed sharply. He couldn't listen to anymore of this, couldn't _believe_ in this. “You - you don't have to do this, Kolivan.” 

Kolivan’s mask lifted, revealing a disgruntled look.

“You misunderstand,” he said. “These are all observations I have made in your presence. If you wish for baseless flattery, perhaps then I’d compliment your swordsmanship.”

Keith blinked, lips twitching irritably at the words. His bladework was fine - brilliant, even. He worked hard to hone his skills, and they were worthy of more than _baseless flattery._

“I practice four hours a day. Sometimes five.” The words were blurted out, a little childish in the challenge. It wasn't even completely true. Sometimes they didn't even have two - yet alone five - hours to spare.

Kolivan shrugged, and if that was a gesture Keith never expected to see then the _expression_ that slid over the Galra’s face certainly was surprising.

“There is rare skill there I admit, but a lesson or two would not go amiss - provided you are prepared to listen.”

Oh.

“...You're joking,” Keith realised with a shaky exhale.

“I hear that is a thing to do when one does not accept comfort in a time of great distress.”

_Oh._

“I’m sorry,” Keith said on reflex, wincing. Well. This was embarrassing.

“For what?”

It was Keith’s turn to shrug. God. He could feel it now, the unshed tears burning behind his eyelids as he blinked. The mask slid back over his face, a much needed wall of defence.

“Like I said,” he tried weakly. “Maybe I - maybe I'm not _really_ Galra or that human. I'm not - I don’t - I'm just…” holding up a hand to gesture helplessly, Keith sighed. There was no easy way to articulate it. And if the sigh audibly broke over a held back sob, Kolivan made no show of noticing.

“You take pride in being a paladin, do you not?”

Keith nodded, words evading him.

“Then take pride in who you are, regardless of what you are.”

“Where d’you get that line from? Some sort of intergalactic greeting card?” Keith said bitterly, feeling his cheeks flush hot and fiery under the attention and gentle coaxing words. He didn’t _mean_ to be blunt, but accepting this praise would mean accepting a plethora of other things he wasn’t ready to ever accept.

“No,” Kolivan _did_ smile then, something wistful and short-lived as he walked back to the pod. ”From a paladin of Voltron.”

Keith’s eyes followed Kolivan slowly, realisation settling upon him. Each step he took became grounded, but the weight wasn't heavy. That was something he could appreciate - even when Aredis greeted him with a disdainful glance.

_It doesn’t matter where I come from, I know who I am._

♘

“How was the trip?” Coran asked as they returned. “Did you get the Fectide?”

“No thanks to your paladin,” Aredis said whilst smoothly passing over the vial of oil he had collected at the settlement. It was clear he was waiting for a reaction, gaze flickering over to Keith.

“Hey!” Lance pointed a finger accusingly, marching over to Keith’s side. “Watch how you talk to our awesome resident Galra!”

“Part Galra. But that doesn't mean anything,” Keith interjected to his own surprise.

“You're right,” Aredis cut in whilst making his way to the door. “It doesn't.”

“Alright, that's it!” Lance protested once Aredis was out of earshot. “I say we take that guy up a creek without a paddle.”

“Or a canoe!” Hunk added from the sidelines.

“Can the creek be acidic?”

“Now there's a thought number five! There's a planet one varga from here with just the right conditions!”

“Guys,” Keith barked. Whilst they were joking, he honestly wanted to hear no more of this. “ _Leave it._ ”

Taking the vial hurriedly from Keith’s hands in the stewing tension, Coran ushered Hunk to follow his stead to the engine room. Keith watched carefully, averting his gaze when Lance cast him a concerned look. It didn’t matter.

They had work to do here anyway. _Lots of it._

“Awesome, huh?” Keith asked under his breath as he and Lance made their way to the bridge. He tried his best for something teasing, but it came out hoarse. His hands were clammy, eyes trained ahead. _._

“I'm feeling generous don't make me take it back,” Lance warned with an exaggerated groan clearly for show. He seemed to take the bait, which was good. Keith could work with their usual bickering. It was somehow cathartic.

“That's not how it works.”

“Keith, wait - wait,” Raising an eyebrow, Keith turned to Lance _._ “I just want to make sure you're… okay. I mean, you know being Galra isn't a problem for any of us right?”

“I know.”

“No. I don't think you do,” Lance shook his head, stubbornly pulling the rug from under both their feet in the process. There was nowhere to hide now. “Aredis was out of line. It doesn't matter what you are - but not in the way _you're_ thinking.”

“How then.” Keith tried to keep the irritation from his voice, but it was hard like this. It was hard letting Lance peer into places he desperately wanted to keep barricaded.

“It doesn't matter because we trust you. You're one of us.” Slinging an arm round Keith’s shoulder, Lance grinned. “No shaking us now, buddy.” A hand playfully tugged him closer into a headlock.

“LANCE?! What are you doing-!” Keith did his best to feign frustration, but a raspy laugh was already betraying him. Butting into Lance’s chin, Keith took the opportunity to free himself as the blue paladin moved back. A smile passed between them, lazy and unfurling gradually. Warmth spread through Keith. Then Lance’s smile turned into something more mischievous, eyebrows raising.

“As our resident Galra I need to know, do you think you’ll ever turn purple?”

Rolling his eyes, Keith nudged Lance with his elbow.

Yeah. Things were going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> In the zine this is called "knowledge or death, strength through sacrifice" but i kind of liked the idea of 'rooted trials' in hindsight haha. 
> 
> in general, I was mulling over the idea of there being a second trial that affirms your place in the BOM. but it's not a trial you know you are taking or are aware of even existing. it is a true assessment of true character which is not influenced by having knowledge their actions are being watched closely! 
> 
> I'd like to use Aredis again for another story sometime..... I had other ideas for him. we'll see! I'd also like to explore this part of where Keith is emotionally...! 
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Come talk with me anytime on tumblr (kcgane) !


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